I was somewhat nonplussed to see that People magazine named Johnny Depp the Sexiest Man Alive.  (1987?  He wuz robbed.  2003?  Fine, he deserved that one.  But 2009?  Somewhere, his publicist must be working overtime.)

But then I thought about it some more…looked into Johnny’s warm brown eyes…remembered the way he gazed at Juliette Binoche in Chocolat…the twinkle of Captain Jack Sparrow’s rotting gold tooth as he staggered around (okay, maybe not quite that one).  I do like the fact that he’s a man, not a boy, since puberty is never sexy.  And, like fine wine or a slab of prime beef, Johnny is aging rather nicely.

Johnny is only the 3rd man to win the honor twice, after Brad Pitt and George Clooney.  The fact that Johnny was named SMA when he also happens to have a huge movie coming out in a few weeks (Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland) is entirely a coincidence, I’m sure…

What say you?  Who would have been your vote for Sexiest Man Alive?

Gilles Marini doesn’t always wet my whistle, but I would like to submit Exhibit A, below, for your consideration:

Not too shabby, right?  And for your viewing pleasure, a retrospective of some past Sexiest covers.  Let’s take a trip down memory lane… (more…)

People magazine just released their list of the 100 Most Beautiful, and Christina Applegate is tops.  I can dig that! 

Inside the magazine are the obligatory fluff shots of gorgeously airbrushed celebrities pouting and grinning for the camera.  And, picking up on a recent trend of the past few years, they also include shots of Pretty People Without Makeup.  I’d prefer Pretty People Without Airbrushing (we salute you, Kim Kardashian!)–but, hey, we’ll take what we can get!

The hottest bachelor in the world is A.C. Slater?  Seriously?  I think I’ll pass.  I still haven’t forgiven him for cheating on the Doritos girl.  Sorry, Mario.

I’m just in an apathetic mood today.  None of them are really doing it for me. 

How much do you want to bet David Cook is thinking, “Buy my album.  Get me out of here.  Make the puppy dog face.  When do these photo shoot obligations stop?  God, I hope I sell more records than Ruben Studdard.”

(more…)

People magazine has released a peek at Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s wedding photos; they’re on the cover of this week’s issue with their dog and matching side-swept bangs.  My question: who do you think took longer to get ready?  Probably Pete — those locks don’t flatiron themselves!  Ashlee’s heavily-rimmed eyes look especially pretty, but I’m waiting to reserve beauty judgment until I see more photos - the issue is on sale Friday!

Photo from People.com