No surprise here: Bachelor sweethearts Matt Grant and Shayne Lamas have split.  I thought they seemed visibly strained during their recent “After the Final Rose” appearance, but it’s still always a little sad when “true love” (giggle) fails.  Do you think DeAnna and Jesse will actually make it to the altar?

Future Shayne will be thankful if Current Shayne lays off the tanning–I predict leathery skin and unnecessary wrinkles–but I do love her white blonde, artfully messy Hollywood hair.  On another girl, it would be way too much, but Shayne (she of the makeup compacts and blush brushes on the ski slope) somehow manages to pull it off.  Get your own Shayne ‘do with prodigious amounts of mousse (we’re talking three golf-ball sized squirts here!), long layers, and a deep side part frozen in place with hairspray.

For once, Chris Harrison wasn’t kidding.  Last night, Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas chose snowboarder Jesse over puppy-dog-eyed dad Jason in the finale that I don’t think anybody saw coming.  (Um, except for me!; D. you totally owe me seventy-five cents.)  I guessed correctly that DeAnna would choose excitement and somebody her own age who could (theoretically) give her all his attention instead of going with the safe choice of a family she allegedly wanted with a man who’d always put her number two.  Don’t cry for him, Jason-lovers; I’m putting down money (D.? Anybody?) that, by this time next year, he’ll be engaged to a woman who fell in love with him through her television. 

I found Jesse extremely sexy and liked him and DeAnna as a couple more than I liked her and Jason; I think Jason is too good for DeAnna and that there’s somebody better suited for him out there.  Still, was it just me, or did DeAnna and Jesse seem insanely fake during the After the Rose?  (And Shayne and Matt didn’t seem too solid, either.)  Bachelor couples squeezing every last drop out of their “relationship” for the camera?  Well, I never!