Most of us have been there.  You date somebody, convinced he is sparkles and rainbows and puppies…and then you eventually come face to face with the monstrous truth.  He’s–gasp!–human!  Life is more complex than black and white, so sometimes good people can do bad things, including the biggest, baddest relationship transgression of all: infidelity.  This article lays out the signs to look for, some of which would be laughably obvious–except that people have a tendancy to conveniently ignore what they don’t want to see.  (You mean, my boyfriend who oozes smarmy charm, has a bunch of douchebag friends and cheated his way through business school might not be the world’s greatest mate?  Well, golly gee!)

Dating 101: Will Your Guy Cheat On You? (Yahoo)

As a proud feminist, strong woman and informed citizen who has voted on both sides of party lines and considers her spirit truly Independent, it’s been fascinating to see other women react to Sarah Palin.  It is one of the great facets not only of the election, but of recent history–Sarah Palin causes an incredible rise in both liberal and conservative women’s blood pressure and emotions, whether they’re rushing to defend her or tripping over themselves to villify her.  I’ve had riveting conversations with friends and family around the country about her, and I do think it’s amazing and exciting that people are getting so involved in and passionate about American politics.  She’s a true Rorschach test.

While I love debate and discussion, however, I’m unimpressed when contempt for others’ opinions is introduced into the mix, when people or candidates of any political stripe resort to namecalling, and when conclusions about others’ reasons, persuasions, decisions, values or desires are rushed into–it does nobody any good, sets women back and is, frankly, insulting.  I’m hoping the collective “we” can all take a deep breath, focus on the issues, and not demean our fellow women or citizens for disagreeing with our own opinions.  The world is neither black nor white but a beautiful palette of grey, and we are all smarter and better than to shrink to positions of fear and finger-pointing–in either party. 

This excellent Ellen Tien article (She’s Happily Married, Dreaming of Divorce) appeared in Oprah a few months ago, but has been steadily making its way around the internets, popping up again, as if new, on CNN.com.  Maybe you’ve already read it (about five times, like I have), maybe not, but I’m curious, young married ladies: what say you?  Is the writer overly cynical?  Simply been married for too long?  Wrong five ways ’til Sunday?  Or…gulp…correct in her belief that it all comes down to thoughts of divorce in the end?  (Nuanced, thoughtful, appreciative of the finer points of marriage…but correct all the same?)  Either way, I’m still digging in my heels.  It’s going to take an entire army of horses to drag ol’ Jolie to the altar.  (And will I be eating my words in a few years?  Um, yeah, probably.)