I wonder how many of you roll your eyes when magazine articles insist hysterically that, down the line, there will be Hell To Pay! for not wearing sunscreen.  I do it myself; if I’m flipping through Glamour and come across a decidedly non-glamorous feature on skin cancer, I usually think, “Gross!” and then flip the page.  Maybe I’ll skim it, maybe I won’t.  (C’mon, I prefer reading the sex tips.)  So, a few days ago, when I asked Dr. Solieman and Dr. Litner to do some UV imaging of me (inspired by my experience at the Total Beauty conference), I felt confident it wouldn’t be that bad.  I’ve been addicted to sunscreen for years (my old favorite was DDF Organic Sun Protection SPF 30; my recent love is Obagi Nu Derm Healthy Skin Protection SPF 35), and while I lapsed for 12 months or so in Palm Beach, surely my years of anti-aging serums and broad-spectrum filters would have served me well.  Here is the normal “before” picture:

And here is the scary “after”

Wear your sunscreen, kids!!!!

I don’t watch The Hills anymore; not only do I feel too old for it (and most everything on MTV, and pretty much all gossip blogs, as well), but whenever I am sucked into the vortex, my brain cells seem to shriek, “You’re really gonna do this?  We’re outta here!”  The further I am from twenty, the more shows like this seem incredibly vapid and pointless, and the more annoyed I get that unsubstantial confections get thrust to the top of the “talent” heap.  Regardless…gee, aren’t they pretty here in Rolling Stone?  (What’s most fascinating about this show—much more interesting than the Lauren/Heidi/Spencer feud—is the difference in color between Audrina and Whitney.  Whitney actually looks like a human being—pale in LA?  Shock!  Horror!—whereas Audrina looks like she spends her days soaking in a bathtub filled with DHA.  Time to give up that membership to Sunset Tan, my dear.)

I must say, this picture is actually really cute

Pale is hip, right?

Thursday, August 11th, 2005

I’m an avid fan of self-tanner…but for some reason I’m currently whiter than a polar bear. Normally, I’m okay with being tan. Nicole Kidman looks like Caspar, and she’s beautiful, right? (Of course, I am no Nicole Kidman. Hmph.) Maybe it’s ’cause I’m lazy, maybe it’s ’cause…well, I’m lazy…but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do the whole regimen—shave, exfoliate, moisturize and self-tan—in weeks. I can do three out of four at any given time, but the whole routine is just overwhelming. What do you want from me? It’s August. (My birthday month! Um, not that I’m hinting you should send me gifts or anything.)When I do occasionally self-tan—usually in months like November or February, when only people who live in California or vacation in St. Barths have actual color—I stick with tried and true favorites: Lancome Flash Bronzer Self-Tanner for Legs (an old boss swears by it, to use all over your body) and L’Oreal Sublime Bronze Gel in Medium/Deep (dries instantly, develops into the perfect, streak-free, you’ve-obviously-been-at-the-beach-color). Love.I’ve heard whisperings that Origins, Philosophy and Fake Bake have excellent self-tanners, too. Maybe someday, eventually, in the future, I will finally get around to trying them. For now, I’m just pretending I don’t care that there’s a very bright glare reflecting off of my arms and legs.

Now that the weather is getting warmer and spring break is around the corner for college students, I’m getting lots of questions about tanning.  Most of them go along the lines of this:

“So!  Umm…I know what you’re going to say, but…if I go to a tanning bed, it’s not the worst thing in the world, is it?  Just once??  I mean, I only want a little base.  Just so I don’t burn at the beach.  That won’t hurt my skin…right?  Plus, come on, everybody just looks better with a tan!  I don’t want to be pale!” 

It’s not PC, but I agree: everybody looks better with some color on the face (unless you’re blessed with a Nicole Kidman-type porcelain complexion…and even then, I still think she looks nice with a slightly bronzed glow!), but tanning is a big no-no.  (But you already knew that, don’t you?)  I’m not going to lie, I’ve gone to tanning beds—hell, my little brother is an assistant manager at Four Seasons Tanning in West Hollywood!—I still occasionally lay out at the beach and I don’t wear hats and shades as much as I used to.  Nobody’s perfect, and a few lapses in judgment here and there…well, that’s life.  But it’s a sad fact that any change in color means your skin has been damaged, and even the shortest tanning sessions accumulate.  It might not make much of a difference now on your flawless teenaged or twentysomething skin, but eventually, you will see the age spots and wrinkles…and then you’ll be cursing the gods (and yourself) for not covering up and making friends with sunless tanner when you were younger!  (Approximately thirty percent of aging is genetic, whereas seventy percent is behavioral/environmental.  So, yes, avoiding things like tanning and smoking really does make a difference!  Peeps, I share because I love.)  If you’re going to tan, you’re going to tan, but for the love of all that’s good and holy, wear ample broad-spectrum SPF30 sunscreen at least on your face, reapply every two hours, and make friends with a good sunless tanner so you’re not quite as tempted to fake ‘n bake; your skin WILL thank you someday!