My darlings!  You know how I feel about cellulite creams: mucho suspicious, of course.  (Yes, they can make a difference in the appearance of skin temporarily, but we’re not talking liposuction results.  When dealing with anything that promises to banish wrinkles or fat for-evah!, realistic expectations are key.)  So, how about the chance to test one of your own, for free?  That’s right, no blowing your hard earned money…and, just maybe, slightly sleeker thighs, too.  Not that anything is wrong with your gorgeous thighs just the way they are.  I know that.  You know that.  (Right?) But, hey, we’re human and we all want to look our best, so no judging!

Nivea has partnered with me to give away 25 tubes of their Good-bye Cellulite Gel Cream, which retails for $12.99 and includes L-Carnitine, which helps convert fat into energy.  The first 25 gals who reply in the comments below with their email address and all-time favorite body product (moisturizing cream!  bath gel!  No!No! hair remover!  Whatever!) will win.  Good luck…

I found out this weekend that TotalBeauty.com is sending me to Paris in October!  Apparently, more Jolie readers visited the TotalBeauty.com “Totally Green Sweepstakes” link than those from any other blog…so, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!  (I hope it will make you proud to know that your clicks were more than double those of the number two blog!)  I’ll be attending the Beyond Beauty conference in the City of Lights and will report back to all of you on the latest, greatest and oh-so-chic in beauty. 

Your new mission, should you choose to accept it, is to click on the button below to visit the Spas of America website.  The blogger which sends the most traffic via link clicks will visit a spa and write an article for Spas of America/Total Beauty.  Can we prove, once again, that Jolie readers are far and away the most awesome?  Methinks we can!

By the by, I’ve had the pleasure of visiting a few really spectacular spas in my day, so I’ll post all month on my favorites.  Stay tuned…

So, Mother’s Day is, like, tomorrow, and of course I have yet to get Mere Jolie anything.  In a parallel universe, I’d be hopping on a plane to Dallas to surprise her this Sunday, but alas I think that’s the same universe where I live rent-free in an SW3 Chelsea flat.  (Not visiting that alternate realm anytime soon!)  Haven’t picked up anything for your mom, either?  Check out the new Jo Malone Kohdo Wood Collection, which features two limited-edition fragrances: calming Lotus Blossom and Water Lily, and energizing Dark Amber and Ginger Lily.  Kohdo, apparently, is an ancient Japanese incense ceremony, and the new collection is made of a candle, bath oil and cologne.  If you can’t afford the lot, I recommend the Lotus Blossom and Water Lily Bath Oil (for 100 clams), which comes in a so-chichi-you-just-want-to-stare-at-it glass bottle. 

I’m assuming you’re familiar with Jo Malone, but if not…ohhh, babies, are you in for a treat.  Jo is an actual woman who started making skincare concoctions for her London friends.  Word-of-mouth spread, the line grew, and now it’s a bonafide Luxury Brand, with some of the yummiest bath oils, candles, shower gels, home fragrances and perfumes this side of Diptyque.  (I would forgo food for the Diptyque Baies candle–it is That Good.  When I moved to England, I actually carted it with me on the plane in my carry-on luggage.  Practical?  Me?  Never!)  Some of my favorite Jo Malone treats:

Jo Malone Bath Oil Collection: Mini-sizes of Jo’s bestselling bath oils, packaged in glass instead of plastic for an extra touch of fab.

Jo Malone Vitamin E Gel: Possible the cultiest product in the line, and a must-have in certain Notting Hell sets for dry or damaged skin

Jo Malone Lime Basil Mandarin Cologne: It’s next to impossible to pick just one scent, but this is considered Jo’s gold standard.  Bonus–it’s good for men and women (and damn near addictive)

In a world of mega-beauty conglomerates, it’s nice to support the little guy.  (I feel like Ubiquitous Movie Announcer Dude should have been booming that line, movie-trailer-style.  “IN A WORLD OF MEGA-BEAUTY CONGLOMERATES…”  Okay, sorry, Jolie needs a nap.)  Anyhow, if you’re a fan of homemade, handcrafted, love-and-care-infused body products–no animal testing, yay!–check out the soaps from Luv4Country, which come in a plethora of yummy flavors like A Patch of Sunshine, Gentleman Caller, Butterbaby, and Daze of Wine and Roses.  Lather, rinse, repeat…even better, do it in the bath with a glass of vino and some Sufjan blaring on the iPod speakers.  Ahh.

Staying in a hotel means plush bath robes, comfy beds and fifty dollar breakfasts, but it also means an opportunity to “sample” (read: steal) all the mini beauty offerings.  I look forward to staying in some hotels more than others, like the W, which carries Bliss, just for their bath products.  At the Jumeirah Essex House (maybe the nicest hotel I’ve ever stayed in), the bathrooms had Cornelia Day Resort products, which isn’t too damn shabby.  I promptly swept the bathroom, putting every single bottle of shampoo, conditioner, body wash and lotion in my bag, and have been working my way through them at home.  Verdict: luxurious, and nicely unisex, but not totally cheap, as each product is around $35.  (Although, for me, you can’t beat Jo Malone and Diptyque when it comes to unaffordable but still SO worth it luxury!)

Recently, one of the publicists for The Body Shop offered to send me some of their bestselling products to get reacquainted with.  I haven’t used anything from the line in years—we’re talking since about 1994, when all the girls in my class were doused in White Musk—so I said yes, not realizing that my life was about to change.It’s been about three weeks, and I’m so newly in love with the products that I can’t even deal.  Several of them are on a daily rotation, which says a lot when you consider the arsenal of beautifiers I have at my disposal.  Most notably, I have been moisturizing my body every…single…day, which I don’t think I’ve done ever.  So now my legs don’t look and feel like scaly reptiles: a revolution!What must you get for yourself?  The Shea Body Butter is tops, with a creamy, keeps-skin-soft-for-eons hydrating goodness, and a sexy, subtle, delectable scent; it’s my new Holy Grail product.   

The Satsuma Shower Gel smells divine (fresh! fruity! fabulous!) and works wonders as a morning pep-up (very important when I stupidly decide to venture out in Hollywood on a school night until 2 am, conveniently forgetting that I am Not As Young As I Used To Be).   

Then there’s the Hemp Hand Protector, which has finally turned my neglected Brillo cuticles around, so thoroughly moisturizing and nourishing them that I miraculously now possess “I’m the kind of girl who gets manicures weekly” digits…which we all know is a total fallacy.  

 I am in love.