Because it’s my birthday week, and I’m feeling thoughtful
Otherwise titled as “A Post That Really Has No Point, But Just ‘Cause…”
When I started working at Lucky, fresh out of college, I was a lowly beauty assistant with little input, terrified of everybody around me. My job initially consisted of opening packages, arranging products in the beauty closet, organizing the in-demand director’s schedule (well, okay, that would be attempting to organize the in-demand director’s schedule, since I was universally acknowledged to be a terrible–but oh-so-eager!–assistant), and answering phones. Hardly tasks necessitating an Ivy League diploma—yet I was hooked. The place was drenched in glamour, each editor was more fabulous than the next, and as time progressed, I was passed micro-pieces to work on, eventually graduating to the Secret Ingredient page and occasional Q&A’s for the burgeoning website (oh, 2003, how long ago you seem!) Those Q&A’s became the inspiration for the Beauty Questions I now answer (but which y’all have been lazy about recently, so send ‘em in!), and, of course, led to the creation of beauty blog 1.0 formerly called Jolie in NYC.
People occasionally ask me “Why did you pick the name Jolie? Does it honor Angelina? What does it mean?” and I wonder if I should BS something exciting and exotic or share the bland truth: “Um, my friend Alexis had a blog, and I was all, ‘I want a blog, too!’ so I came back from lunch one day, logged onto Blogger, and settled on a word that meant pretty in French. Beauty? Pretty? Get it! Soo clever.” I never anticipated what that flippant decision would lead to, both good and bad: industry buzz, fevered speculation as to my identity, a rescinded job offer, loss of respect from women I admired, explosive publicity, getting blackballed, a book deal, a polo sabbatical to England and Palm Beach, rampant soul-searching, the loss of even more important relationships, a pinpointing of purpose, and finally, career 2.0 as a beauty blogger, writer and consultant. So much has happened between my 25th birthday and now that sometimes I pause, take a step back and think, “What the hell? Where did the last three years go?”
This weekend, I turned 28—a fairly uneventful birthday in the grander scheme, but the narcissistic twenties seem to demand a hyperawareness of every passing year, all in relation to the dreaded 3-0: Party!!!…Okay, I’m nearly halfway to thirty…Hmm, I’m closer to thirty, and therefore death, than I was last year…Crap, I’m the same age my mother was when she had me…Dear, God, I’m halfway through my late-twenties, what am I doing with my life?…Just breathe, just breathe, I’m touching the year that touches thirty…noooo! After spending the past eight years dutifully applying serums and antiwrinkle creams, my let’s-be-real-here-still-not-very-old age is finally beginning to show, and now’s when I actually can start bristling at those eye crinkles and deepening forehead lines and slowly-but-surely widening hips. They’re no longer theoretical. They’re here.
And yet, I feel I’ve never looked better as I’ve relaxed into myself and am finally cool with me. Sure, I might have been “prettier” when I was 22 and dewy and had a waist like a wasp, but I was so damn concerned with looking sexy or mature for the boys and my coworkers that I rarely stopped to realize how cute…and young…I and all my friends were. I do things now that would have been unthinkable for 21-year-old (or even 25-year-old) Jolie: I’ll frequently go out, even to bars, without makeup; I’ll go braless instead of wearing a massively padded Victoria’s Secret push-up; I’ll throw my hair in a messy ponytail instead of waking 45 minutes early to painstakingly blow it out. The older I get, the more I realize I couldn’t give a toss about winning approval from those around me—a lesson I know many before have learned, and at a much quicker rate, but sometimes Jolie is slow to the party.
One of my favorite quotes is by Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” It applies to relationships, to life, and, yes, to beauty, and I’ve yet to meet the person that isn’t occasionally susceptible. Sometimes we’ll stop ourselves from doing things out of fear; other times we’ll do things to advance ourselves in others’ eyes. Be and look your best—’cause you’re awesome and you feel like showing it off, damn it!—but by your own standards, no one else’s! I’ve been so fortunate to meet hundreds of you these past few years, and I get a kick out of how smart, curious, friendly, beauty savvy and warm-hearted my readers are. I send you all hugs and berry-scented kisses, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading.
Love, Nadine
Tags: aging, England, Lucky magazine, polo
August 26th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Love this post, and can totally relate to how you feel now. I turned 28 this year as well, and my outlook on life, myself, and everything around me couldn’t be better.
August 26th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
I’m posting that quote on my wall. Thank you for such an inspiring post, I’m sure I was not the only one who needed to hear it today.
August 26th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
so true! I am glad you are feeling well about yourself!
August 26th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
i read your blog every day, and i loved this personal post. keep what your doing because it’s WORKING.
August 26th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Jolie: thank you from the bottom of my heart for this blog.
i’m only 19, I can’t relate to how you feel about your age, but thank you for the inspiring words in the last paragraph. AND btw, if I had to guess, I would say you’re 24-25.. or even less.. you are very pretty. I wish you the best life possible, for you and your family!! kisses from a portuguese fan.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
god can i relate. i turned 29 in JUNE AHHHHHHHH . cheers xoxo T
August 29th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
That was such a great post! I turned 30 this year and I know exactly what you mean by becoming more true to yourself as you get older. I’ve discovered 30 isn’t as scary as I thought it would be and can’t wait to see how much wiser (hopefully) and stronger (definitely) I will become in later years. I read your blog everyday and found out about it when I picked up your book at the bookstore and loved it! You’re very talented and on the right track. Good luck!
Carolina
August 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I’m getting closer to thirty so I relate.
Despite having no more than a passing interest in beauty products, I drop in here every now and then just because I feel uplifted somehow by the positive tone in your writing.
I wish your mother all the best in her illness. Having gone through the same thing as you I was about to say that you’re welcome to write to me if you want to talk to somebody who knows what it’s like but it seems to me that you are dealing with it much better than I did. I hope you forgive me for giving out unasked for advice but one thing I would tell you is to spend quality time with your mother, all other things competing for your time are ultimately insignificant in comparison.
Love from Iceland
Julia