A blessing, a curse, a reality
I’ve been thinking a lot about organic beauty recently. About two weeks ago, my mother was diagnosed with lymphoma, and while her cancer is fairly advanced (stage 3-b), there’s cause for hope. When she found out, she called me and we mutually bolstered each other’s spirit through the phone lines, lobbing tried-and-true cliches back and forth (”Everything happens for a reason!” “It’s all about attitude!” “Let’s make every moment count!” “It could be a blessing in disguise!”). What I find fascinating, however, is that what really caused her to break down was not the fear of dying, nor the pain of chemo, but the beauty-related issues: the hair loss, the skin rashes, redness and flaking, her perception that, after a lifetime of being blessed as a “beautiful woman”, she will no longer be so. I have two self-appointed missions now: to research the best organic skincare and makeup that won’t irritate her, and to pick a cancer-related charity to benefit from my upcoming beauty sale with D. Obviously, we won’t be raising millions of dollars, but every bit helps, and we’ve been promised donation checks from various colleagues and friends. I’d like to find a pediatric cancer foundation to support, but I’m open to anything; let me know, friends, if you have suggestions. xo, J.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Dear Nadine,
My heart goes out to your mother and to you. Sending all good wishes of strength and health to her! May she recover quickly and completely. (Unfortunately I do not know of relevant charities offhand, but I wanted to send this off in the meantime.)
Sincerely,
C. Luft
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I am so sorry, Nadine. My thoughts are with you and your family. Hang in there, everyone.
Re: skincare: Try LindiSkin - it’s made esp. for people with cancer. Not sure if it’s Behrman or Tractenberg…..
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I have rare form of rosacea that is irritated by just about everything, with the irritation comes inflammation and dryness. In January I was introduced to a natural skin care line called Osmosis Skin Care (osmosisskincare.com). So far so good for me, I love it. It might be worth looking into. My prayers are with you and your family.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
A great pediatric foundation is http://www.icouldbeyourchild.org.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Hi Nadine,
We are working with the entire beauty industry on a fundraising campaign called “Beauty Can Cure” http://www.beautycancure.com, in coordination with City of Hope. We are supporting City of Hope. Because of City of Hope, some of the most important, lifesaving advancements in health care were and continue to be made possible.
City of Hope is a leading research and treatment center for cancer, diabetes and other life-threatening diseases. Designated as a Comprehensive Cancer Center, the highest honor bestowed by the National Cancer Institute, and a founding member of the National Comprehensive Cancer Network, City of Hope’s research and treatment protocols advance care throughout the nation. City of Hope is located in Duarte, Calif., just northeast of Los Angeles, and is ranked as one of “America’s Best Hospitals” in cancer and urology by U.S.News & World Report. Founded in 1913, City of Hope is a pioneer in the fields of bone marrow transplantation and genetics. For more information, visit http://www.cityofhope.org.
Hope you will consider City of Hope for your beauty sale!
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
My thoughts go out to you and your Mom. My own mom just recently battled cancer and I know how tough it can be. I also know that it’s nothing you can’t get through togather. I think it’s wonderful what you plan on doing and I wish you all the best.
<3
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Aw, man, that sucks. I am so sorry to hear of the diagnosis. I hope your mom’s treatments go well and she beats it. Cancer certainly isn’t the death sentence it once was, and miracles happen all the time. Good luck to your family.
P.S. Got the Clean & Clear today — thanks!
April 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your mother. My best friend was diagnosed with stage 3b Ovarian cancer last summer–at 35. Just keep in mind that while 3b used to be absolutely horrible a few years back, it’s not the case now. That’s not to say the the diagnosis isn’t bad–it’s still bad– but now more survive 10+ years after treatment. This may just be one bad year for her–and you–and then in years to come just a bad memory. I have lots of suggestions for care during and after treatment…1. Dr, Haushka’s skin care is fabulous for sensitive skin. 2. Wigs - European Virgin Hair is the way to go. Pricey, but worth it. Out of all the side effects, hair loss was the most traumatic for L. and having a wig that didn’t look like a wig really helped–and PS your mother should be fitted for one before the hair loss happens. 3. When my girlfriend’s eyelashes became sparse, she found that dipping an angle brush into the mascara and then sweeping from root to tip really gave her extension and fullness that a mascara wand couldn’t. 4. This sounds horrible but, purchase a large dog bed to lay on the bathroom floor for those days that “hydration” and Ativan don’t help with the side effects of chemo. Whoops–and now I’m rambling on and on…sorry. I have a ton more day to day things, but in the end you will find what works best for your mom. I really hope everything works out for the best!
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm
i’m sorry to hear about your mom. i’m sure you will do amazing research on organic items.
as for a charity– i have a suggestion. check out gilda’s clubs… there is a national office in nyc and there are 20+ individual clubhouses in north america that offer free social and emotional support to anyone touched by cancer. they are amazing!
http://www.gildasclub.org
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. The C word is such a shocking diagnosis for anyone. She will be in my prayers. I’ll just pray for Nadine’s mother and I’m sure that God will know her name. I love your blog and I just finished your book. You have a sweet spirit that comes through in your writing.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Dear Nadine:
I am truly sorry to hear about your mom’s diagnosis. Your family will be in my prayers. Sometimes just knowing people care helps. I am hoping for the best for you and your mom!
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Oh, gosh. I haven’t ever commented before, but I just wanted to say how much I’m feeling for you and your mom right now. You’ll be in my thoughts.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I’m really sorry, Nadine, and sending loads of positive cliches your way. You’ve joked about your Asian eyes vis a vis Shu Uemara’s eyelash curler I believe. Perhaps the Asian American Donor Program? http://www.aadp.org/ This one’s a little more personal because of Erica (’Ereeka’) -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYUFB542Iak, http://ericamurray.blogspot.com.
A different friend recently raised money for St. Baldricks, which pairs head shaving and fundraising in solidarity with children with cancer - http://www.stbaldricks.org.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:15 am
i will keep your mom in my thoughts and prayers.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:42 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Donating to a children’s cancer charity is a great idea. St. Jude’s is a great charity. http://www.stjude.org
April 4th, 2008 at 8:57 am
I’m sending prayers and good thoughts your way…my mom was diagnosed with a form of leukemia a few years ago and she is pulling through well. She, too, was very concerned about all of the “beauty” aspects related to her disease (she went through a tough period of hair loss for a while) but thankfully is doing much better these days. I helped her find a lot of products that she loves now (the Dr. Hauschka line comes to mind) and she always wants to find products that are low on any harmful chemicals. (I also think I’ve turned her into a total beauty addict, but eh, these things happen!) I’m wishing the same outcome for your own mother, Nadine. Good luck.
I donate twice a year to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society–their website is: http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/hm_lls
Good luck with the research, too!
April 4th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Nadine,
I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s diagnosis. My father battled a very aggressive form of lymphoma. During his battle, your blog provided me some “fun” relief from the daily grind of chemo, doctor’s visits, radiation, etc.
I’m not sure of your Mother’s case, but in many cases, a bone marrow transplant is the only “cure”. There are many wonderful children’s cancer charities out there. One I like is http://www.pcrf-kids.org. But you may also want to help spread the word about the National Marrow Donor Program (www.marrow.org.) Testing to be a marrow donor is painless (a cheek swab), and you could save a life. Marrow transplants affect both children and adults, too.
Best wishes for a healthy and fast treatment and recovery.
Michelle
Austin, Texas
April 4th, 2008 at 10:42 am
I am so sorry, best wishes for you and your family. I will keep both of you in my prayers
On more of a beauty note, two products I have came across that were geared towards patients who were undergoing chemotherapy is Revitalash (which has gotten lots of press because of its effectiveness and celebrity devotion) and some nail polish that they sell on blissworld.com that was created by a doctor for his wife. I don’t think they are exactly organic, but they seem to be tried and true
April 4th, 2008 at 10:49 am
As a breast cancer survivor, I understand your mother’s fears. The best advice I got and what I give as well is to make sure you walk. I bought a treadmill and even if I could only do 5 minutes, I did it. It makes all the difference in how you feel and how you get through the treatment. I even went to my aerobics classes. I would do 10 or 15 min. then sit in the back until I could join in again. The women in my class were my best supporters. It makes such a difference in how you feel, not just physically but mentally as well.
In New Haven, there is a program called Looking Forward where beautiful scarves, jewelery, hats etc are sold to help women feel good while they undergo treatment (not the old babushka). Also yoga and mediation CDs help enormously. There is a web site with free downloads. If you are interested, I’ll send it on. Cancer is no longer a death sentence. God bless. Jacqui
April 4th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Dear Nadine,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s diagnosis. It’s good that she has you, though; it sounds like she has the best possible support system with you around.
The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society get a ton of publicity through their Team in Training program, but they’re more than happy to receive support wherever they can get. They’re also the largest voluntary organization in the world dedicated to fighting these diseases, so you know your money will be going to an organization with the resources to carry out its mission.
As someone else mentioned elsewhere, there’s also the St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital, yet another awesome and very deserving cause.
Cheers,
Marjorie
April 4th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Sending you and your mother my best wishes for a positive recovery.
As for makeup, try Priti nail polishes? It’s an organic line, soy-based and big 3 free.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Hey Nadine,
I’m really sorry. My mother just went through all of this as well, but she’s doing great now.
There are several hospitals that offer beauty lessons for cancer patients, and all kinds of fancy makeup is donated for the cause. My mom walked away with tons of Chanel, Origins, Bobby Brown, and Mac (and other brands, too) makeup. I can get the specific info for you if you’d like, or you can call up the hospital and ask.
Stay strong — it’s a long road but you’ll both get through it.
Best,
Amanda
April 4th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
My thoughts go out to you and your mother.
April 5th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Nadine,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother! My thoughts are with you.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Hi Nadine - I send your mom healing thoughts. I am sorry that you both have to go through this. You have given me such happy moments with your book and your blog. I ,too, want to recommend lindiskin, developed by a Philadelphia-area performer when she had cancer. If you google it, I’m sure you’ll find it.
April 6th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Stay strong - both my parents are cancer survivors, it can definitely be done! I wanted to recommend suki pure - they’re all organic and natural, and were especially designed for sensitive skin. I love love love them, and they’ve completely taken over my skin care regimen
April 9th, 2008 at 7:40 am
wow, what news…. hang in there. i have been there through a parent’s cancer fight, and it’s not easy. but she can make it! with a combo of good docs and a good mental state, she can do it. i will be thinking healthy thoughts for her and you. hang in there.
April 14th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
1) I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I had no idea you had to deal with this just before our wedding. That said, certain forms of lymphoma are manageable (even in 3B). If there is anything E and I can do for you and your mom, please do not hesitate to let us know.
2) I don’t know much about fashion beauty products ( ;)) but I know E is a big fan of Jurlique and Dr. Hauschka. I’ve occasionally dipped my hands (face?) in her beauty mask jar and can tell you that it smells great and did wonder for my skin!