Supporting, not tearing down, other women
I went to a workshop last night sponsored by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund and the Step Up Women’s Network, two wonderful organizations that have partnered to help boost the self-esteem of teenage girls across the country. Hilarie Burton and Jess Weiner chatted and role-played with 30 high schoolers, discussing the negative (and often false) images put out by Hollywood, which are reinforced by girls’ families, friends and even themselves. It was fascinating hearing Hilarie speak about the internal pressures put on actresses, and the various photo retouching that’s been done to her over the years; the message, of course, being that we aren’t good enough as is, and that we’d all be happier were we thinner, more even-skinned, more rosy-cheeked, and longer-limbed. It reminded me of my days at FHM, when Anna Kournikova’s torso was digitally slimmed and lengthened for a cover, making her appear about 20 pounds thinner. The old double standard still holds: men are judged by what they do, whereas women are judged by what they look like. You can be talented, of course, and—look how far we’ve come!—you’ll even get celebrated for it! But your hair and outfit will still rank a mention, too…especially by other women, who are often the cruelest judges.
A piece on Jezebel in response to today’s New York Times article about beauty bloggers further illustrates this point. In a list of over a hundred comments, a few girls take the time to snark on my (admittedly anorexic!) eyebrows, mere days after Jezebel called an end to bashing other women’s appearances. The anger behind the piece, however, made me think. I assumed my readers knew that some of the products I get are sent from publicists, the same as when I was an “official” beauty editor, and I’ve done my best to always be honest and up front with you all, who I deeply respect. I simply thought we had tred this ground three years ago!
Okay, so, here we go, just to prevent any misconceptions: as a beauty blogger, publicists and beauty companies will send me products. I write about the ones I like and ignore the ones I don’t, except in the cases where a product simply sucks and is getting ridiculous hype. This is why I have publicly come out about my dislike for Maybelline Great Lash, La Mer and the GHD flatiron, among other products. You’ll notice that sometimes I write about new products, and sometimes I write about established ones: this is because I only write about products I’ve actually tested, stand behind, and would (or have) paid my own money for. It runs the gamut: expensive, cheap, borrowed from a friend, sent by a publicist, purchased at CVS, adored or reviled; if it moves me, I’ll write about it. I will continue to accept products from publicists as long as they send them, since a more thorough covering of the market helps make this blog more interesting, of course. After thinking about said Jezebel article, and doing a little soul-searching of my own, however, I’ve decided to stop accepting all gifts. Any gifts, new products I don’t test and gently-used products I have tested once will be donated to Dress For Success to benefit the career development and self-esteem of low-income women. I’d like to walk the walk, and maybe it’s a small gesture…but it’s a start.
